Sharabelle bakes

Weird Stuff If something strange or unusual is going to happen, it will happen to my mother or me!!!!   I spent the first day of my holiday in Tenerife stuck in the hotel, due to a tropical storm.  Then the plane back was delayed due to mechanical fault, so didn't land in Glasgow till 6am in the morning. 12 hrs later than planned.   Got the first bus back home, only the journey took 8 hours due to the snow and traffic jams.   It normally only takes 1 hr 30 Min's!!!! A few months ago I accidentally cut my ankle while shaving my legs and developed a skin tag infection.  Very itchy and annoying. The more I itched the more it spread...... Spent a night in a Edinburgh Travelodge for my birthday 5 years ago. Then had to spent the rest of my 2 week holiday stuck in my house, because I'd been bitten by bed bugs.  There were so many bites I thought I had chicken pox's!!!   The list goes on..........   Having an anxiety disorder,...

Mental health problems are a part of me, but they don't define who I am... June 2013 - New job SAMH - Scottish Association for Mental Health This time last year (2012) I was attending Tools for Living course with   SAMH - Going Forth.  Tools for living, as the name suggests gave me the tools to live a normal live.  Like physical illnesses no one can wave a magic wand and make the hurt go away.  Through their brilliant support Iv learnt to manage my anxiety and return to paid work.    It's a group therapy course,  which was scary at first but in the end helped me alot.  Being around people, that also have mental health problems made me feel less isolated and alone.  If I told them I had a bad day there was no need to say any more,  they understood.   Go back another year to June 2011-   I still found it difficult to be in busy places or on public transport.  I would take convoluted journeys to ge...

Been a bit busy the last few days, so haven't been able to blog.   I discovered on Sunday that my Brothers planned to start my kitchen re-furb on Tuesday night.  Was slightly surprised and kind of panicked. The plan is to take down the old pantry wall and make the kitchen larger.  I've put off decorating this room since I moved in over 13 years ago.  I just couldn't handle the thought of the noise and disruption involved, however I'm finally biting the bullet.   Iv CBT (Cognitive behaviour Technique) the problem.  I'm okay getting work done in the house as long as am not there when it actually happens.  Iv had to accept that there are some anxiety triggers that will always be there.  The only solution is to work round them.   Lucky for me my brothers stepped in to help.  So while they did the first stage last night, I went to my local library book club.    Then got a call from them saying they were done.   Got a...

Why Presents can be depressing... Some was asked me the other day how long it was till my birthday, I was pretty shocked to realise that it's only 3 months away.  For me Birthdays and Christmas are pretty depressing times, but probably not for the reasons you would think. Yes I have mental health problems, at those times of the year I start missing the people that are no longer with us. However that's a normal reaction that most everyone has, when they've lost someone close to them.     Gift Idea's: Flower's bouquet of flowers or the simple  gift of some p o tted herbs make a great present.   One of my favourite gifts was the present of some garden pots of plants that my dad had grown and potted himself.  Knowing that gardening isn't really one of my talents What really depresses me is getting presents.  Or to be more precise getting presents, that I can't actually use.   Gift Idea's: For women  Candles, scented perfu...

Who, me?   There's been a lot in the news lately about the new changes to the benefits system.  I saw a really interesting interview this morning, which quoted that only 1% of all benefit claims where fraudulent.  The Media and public perception would have you believe this is higher.  So why should I be worried?  I'm being supported by the benefits system at the moment and my claim isn't a fraudulent one.  However the negative media and public perception still affects me.  My depression and anxiety has been getting worse again lately.  I might be a rational individual but there's nothing logical about mental health problems.  If there was we'd all be cured.  The problem - I needed a break, and I didn't think I deserved one.  I don't do paid work, so why should I be entitled to one. I'd bought into the same image presented by the media, as everyone else.  I couldn't bring myself to take a break with out first ta...

Misson:  Baking Pretty I've just spent the last 3 nights sleeping in my bed, instead of the couch.  Which is a big thing to me.  I normally end up sleeping there due to my IBS, It's just easier to get into a comfy position that's enables me to sleep better.   If it's not the IBS, then it's due to my Anxiety Disorder and depression.  I don't like sleeping in bed when I'm having a bad day, I'm always afraid I wont want to get out of it the next day.   Where I know I will get off the couch, because the blanket and pillows will annoy me.   Lol it's my own form of anxiety management, I try too use my negative traits in a positive way.   After a few years of really bad insomnia, it's not where I sleep that counts.  My Doctor told me, it's getting sleep that really matters.  No matter where I sleep I'm usually awake between 5 am or 7 am.  Since I was up early I decided to practise my b...

Chocolate Pepper Cookies Iv been doing to much again, since taking on this course through my work program provider. The problem was I didn't really think it through and i also kept doing my 2 day work experience at the same time.   It's the side effect of having an anxiety disorder that most people don't realise.  The more you push yourself outside your comfort zone, the more exhausted and mentally tired you get.  What's this got to do with chocolate pepper cookies? I needed some down time and the best way I know to relax is too bake.  My last baking experiment was a success.  The mission: - bake a carrot cake for a fussy eater who didn't like cinnamon or dried fruit.  It turned out to be a lovely light cake. It wasn't totally to my taste, but that was the point.  Custom baking is tailoring the taste to suit one person.  ( My own custom carrot cake had dried raisin's, mixed spice and cinnamon) Neede...

Reduce Food waste mission I forgot I had lettuce in the fridge!!!!  I'd been food shopping on Saturday night with my mum, and we were able to pick up some bargains.  Food that was either near it's best before or use by date often gets reduced by shops to save it being binned.  In there own way even large supermarkets are trying to reduce there food waste.  I freeze any chilled food that I don't plan to eat that day (Always check the packaging to see if the product can be frozen) Most vegetables can be frozen, however some are best cooked first.    Lettuce being one of those ingredients that doesn't really freeze well.  Luckily the lettuce was still okay, since it was still in its packaging.  With the snow outside it's not the weather for eating salads, so I decided to make a soup instead.  It's one of those recipes you see celebrity chefs make, looks great but not something you'd cook for your self.  The anxiet...

I'd just finished yesterdays blog, when I went it to my kitchen to make a cup of peppermint tea.  Nearly jumped out of my skin when a mouse run across the floor and disappeared behind my washing machine. I then looked down the back of the washing machine to see where it could have gotten in, only to discover a slow leak.  Could things get any worse!!!!! Looking at the positive side I didn't have an anxiety attack.  Maybe it's because I'm used to these things happening.  If it's weird, bizarre, highly improbable or annoying it's either going to happen to me or my mum.  Can't say either of us has had a mouse yet though.... - There was the pigeon under my floor boards that tried to get out through a grate. -  My neigbours cat, that kept on getting our doors confused.  - The moths that decided to eat the living room carpet under my sofa - Lately it's been the ninja slugs that some how manage to sneek into my kitchen.  ...

When baking with CBT doesn't work After writing a blog about using CBT to bake, I really should have taken my own advise.  I had a baking disaster when making a Bakewell tart for my friend D.  A major almond junkie. What a Bakewell tart should look like....... Everything was planned and organised.  Id rolled out and lined the pastry tin the day before and kept it chilled in the fridge.  In the morning before I left for the pantry I looked and weight some of the ingredients. I even sieved the jam, since D isn't keen on the seeds.  All I had to do once I got home was pre-heat the oven and make the cake batter.   The first problem was I hadn't weight out all the ingredients.  The second problem was I hadn't taken into account how stressed I get after travelling by bus home from the Pantry due to my anxiety disorder.  The bus's are even busier at the moment due to all the Christmas shoppers.  ...

 Mac and Pea's -Before and After I had my main meal at lunch time yesterday, so wanted something light for my tea.  So as usual, I visualised everything I currently had in my cupboards, so I could work out what would work together.   Then Mac and pea's randomly jumped to the front of my thought que.   Randoms the only way I can describe how my brain works, I always joke that it operates on a satellite delay.  Getting through daily life continually using anxiety management techniques is mentally tiring.  When I tell people that my brain starts to shut down at around 2pm, they never believe me till they've seen it for themselves.  Days, times and objects get mixed up.  I can mean one thing, and end up saying something else entirely. eg Hoovering the lawn/grass.  = Lawn mower Or I totally forget the name of the object and have to describe what it does, so the person I'm speaking too can guess what I'm ta...

Experimental cooking I feel like my body is in hibernation mode, I was in bed for 7.30pm last night.  Ok technically I slept on the couch again, and not my bed. (a mix of insomnia and anxiety issues)  I'd felt my self nodding off from 6pm, so I was slightly wired this morning when I got up.  When Im wired I tend relax by baking.   However my fridge is currently full too bursting point with baked goodies, and "She Canny take anymore captain!!!".  (Yep I was once a sci fi geek)  So I thought it best to stick to savoury cooking today, and continue my ongoing mission to explore more veggie recipes, to go further than I have before........... OK you get the point, wayhaay more experiments in the kitchen.  My lentil loaf turned  out to be a great veggie Haggis, you never know what I could accidentally make next time.  Not wanting to give up i decided to give the savoury loaf another bash.  Iv done my research and de...

4 Week today and counting   Soy la lactosa intolerante = I am lactose intolerant I normally go on holiday abroad alone, however my mum wanted to see some sun again. So I now have a travel buddy.  I hadn't planned to go away this year, but Iv always wanted to show my mum why I fell in love with the Canary Islands, especially Lanzarote.  A few years ago I spent Christmas  in Playa Blanca, Lanzarote.  It was during one of my bad periods and I just needed to get away from the stresses of the holiday season.  It was also the only way I could think of that my family would be OK with me spending it alone.   It's hard for friends and family that haven't had a mental health problem to understand that some times spending the day it's self alone is just how I cope.  Big gatherings, even with family and friends are difficult for me to handle.  The restaurant meal wasn't scheduled till evening, so on Christmas day I took a bus ...

 Wacky apple cake and custard  My brother came round last night with a couple of helpers, my 10yrs old  niece and 3 yrs old nephew. (Between my 2 brothers I have 4 nieces and 2 nephews)  I played with the kids, while he wired up my new cooker.  A brilliant idea on his part, due to my anxiety disorder as the kids are a great distraction.  (Worried my brother was going to electrocute himself) I had to do a happy dance, after the delivery guys left of course.  Only wish I'd remembered that my neighbours can see in too my kitchen window..... I was still kind of wired/hyper while I was waiting on my brother.  It's one side effect of my anxiety, which is where the hula hoop came in handy.  I got one from my mum as a thank you for all her baked goodies.  I hula hooped while watching the TV,  to burn off my excess energy.  I controlled myself and waiting till this morning to bake at 6 am.  ...

Baking therapy I don't just bake as a form of  IBS self preservation, I bake because i find it relaxing.  The kitchen is one of the few places I feel in control.  I'm not scared of trying out unfamiliar  techniques, recipes or foods.  Lol, which is a total contradiction to my anxiety disorder.  Where the idea of going some where Iv never been before fills me with panic.  But who said anxiety was logical... So cooking and baking all my food from scratch, helps both my physical and my mental health.  I can understand why people can panic about cooking and baking, especially when a recipe has a long list of ingredients and steps required to make the finished product.  That's why I try to keep mine as simple as possible.  There are days when even I get stressed, on these days I follow some basic CBT  cognitive Behaviour techniques IV been taught to control my anxiety.  CBT is about splitting a tas...